Tonight a friend shared with me some insight that he’s gathered from hanging out with me over the past few months that he had not in our previous years of friendship. His insight went something like this: “Either you’ve changed a lot or I never really knew you.”
The statement was just that, a statement. It wasn’t spoken as a question and it didn’t carry any negative connotations as one might gather . Rather, it was offered a positive observation. An appreciative remark.
Here are some things I appreciate following his remark:
My reaction. In the past, I would’ve probably felt a little slighted by this comment. Really. Which is ridiculous if you consider it because I have been focusing on bettering myself and want people to see a positive change – so to be slighted by the fact that someone noticed an improvement is a little contradictory and a lot ridiculous. But this reaction would’ve been spurred by the feeling that the noted improvement meant that he thought I was lacking previously. (Again, ridiculous. It’s something I noticed in myself; why would I think others hadn’t?) But I’m not offended. I’m grateful that he noticed. It’s a testament not of some past failure but of present success.
My attitude. It’s paying off. Not everyone has noticed or commented, but I know that my deliberate mindset has positively affected my interactions with at least one person around me.
My friend. He has this ability to be honest in a way that disarms me. I think it’s a combination both of my desire to take everything for what it’s worth and enjoy each minute and his almost naive conversation which does not expect a negative reaction even when stating harsh realities matter-of-factly. It’s free speech. And his words come from such an honest place that he assumes they’ll be interpreted as such. And because of that, they are.
Just an observation. I’m grateful for his words and glad that the changes I’ve been working to make are appreciated. So thank you, for a compliment that means something – perhaps more than you know 🙂