Today, my heart is heavy. Sometimes, we face troubles that we need to get off our chest. We need to talk out our confusion, document our pain. Other times, we must carry our own crosses. We must live with the consequences at hand. We “grin and bear it” for those around us because they cannot be expected to carry our burdens nor would we want them to.
Today, I am faced with the latter of the two. There is no solution for what I am facing. There is no pill, remedy, or cure. There is no kind word, advice, or condolence that will help me weather this better than I am currently doing. It is what it is.
My mother, in her parental care, expressed her frustration at the things I have had to face. Her lament was that when my faith is the strongest, I have had to climb one obstacle after another and it seems unfair. Now, understand that she taught me my faith. Therefore, I am glad to have been able to respond that I am glad these struggles have come to me at a time when I could put my pride aside and turn to God. I could not face these things on my own.
I wouldn’t liken my life to that of Job, but I do take comfort in the excerpt from Job 2:10: “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” I don’t call the shots in my life. And my plan is not the plan for me. It’s not God’s plan. He works blessings out of curses and health out of illness. And He will do the same with me.
For now, I ask that your prayers would center around a positive attitude, patience, love, strength, and kindness for me in dealing with this cross and those whom it affects. And be patient with me as well as I stumble in my walk toward a better me.
Luckily when I can do nothing else, I can choose my attitude.