The title to tonight’s blog was taken from a scrapbook I made for a psychology project. It’s dated December 16, 2004. Inside, it holds truths which remain constant today, those which have turned into untruths following time/experiences/growth, and also those which remain true though less prominent in my interpretation of the present. It’s worth reviewing. And updating.

5 1/2 years later – Past and present broken down:

• 5 words used to describe me:
  • 2004
    • stubborn
    • confident
    • respectful
    • athletic
    • caring
  • 2010
    • traveled
    • excited
    • relaxed
    • funny
    • optimistic
• I like that I am:
  • 2004
    • Passionate about the things I believe are right
    • Honest about my thoughts
    • Open-minded
  • 2010
    • Open to new opportunities
    • Comfortable in my own skin
    • Surrounded by good people
• I need to learn to:
  • 2004
    • Organize my life
    • Hold my tongue
    • Let go of past hurts
  • 2010
    • Quit over analyzing
    • Organize my life
    • Make my own way in the world
• I want to:
  • 2004
    • Stop allowing fear to paralyze me
    • Strengthen my faith level
  • 2010
    • Stop allowing fear to paralyze me
    • Always follow my heart
• My top values are:
  • 2004
    • Faith
    • Respect
    • Family
    • Kindness
    • Trust
  • 2010
    • Faith
    • Respect
    • Family
    • Friendship
    • Growth
• My talents:
  • 2004
    • Sports
    • Singing
  • 2010
    • Communicating
    • Forgiving
• Tomorrow I would like to be:
  • 2004
    • More Responsible
    • Health Conscious
  • 2010
    • Further along with my paper
    • Aware of my daily blessings
• Two deep concerns I have right now:
  • 2004
    • Relationship with [my boyfriend at the time]
    • College
  • 2010
    • Living situation
    • Career
• Favorite quotation(s):
  • 2004
    • Play your game: Don’t focus about what anyone else thinks. Play for you. – my parents
  • 2010
    • Many are the plans in a man’s heart but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. – Proverbs 19:21
    • Live in the now. Act spontaneously. Embrace the unknown. – self
• If I were anyone else, I would be:
  • 2004
    • Rich and famous
  • 2010
    • Entirely disappointed
• I am a(n):
  • 2004
    • Christian, daughter, friend, sister, grand-daughter, girlfriend, cousin, role model, counselor, niece, woman, writer, singer, artist, student, athlete, Taurus
  • 2010
    • Christian, daughter, sister, relative, friend, traveler, role model, mess, comedian, artist, disciple, lady, enigma, wanderer, listener, talker, learner
• Two experiences that affected me in a personal way:
  • 2004
    • Soccer with Adam Danielczyk: We were his girls. He cared for us more than he cared about himself.
      • [ Side note: This is something that still pains my heart with joyful remembrances and always will. We were lucky to have him.]
    • Spring Hill: Strengthened faith life
  • 2010
    • Alzheimer’s
    • Heartbreak
• My biggest fears:
  • 2004
    • Being forgotten
    • Growing up
  • 2010
    • Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? – Matthew 6:27 …
• I would like to be remembered as a:
  • 2004
    • Role model
  • 2010
    • Role model
• 10 experiences I would like to have:
  • 2004
    1. Own a bulldog named “Boomer”
    2. Live away [CHECK!]
    3. Marry
    4. Become a mom to little boys (a soccer mom)
    5. Study abroad in Europe [CHECK!]
    6. Decorate my own house
    7. Own a black minivan
    8. Become a recognized photographer
    9. Be an aunt
    10. Be a spoiling grandma
  • 2010
    1. Sky diving
    2. Camping weekend
    3. See a bald eagle in nature
    4. Live in Grand Rapids
    5. Live outside of Michigan
    6. Be published as an author
    7. Obtain a motorcycle license
    8. Run a marathon
    9. Learn to sew
    10. Road trip with friends
• My favorite TV show:
  • 2004
    • Laguna Beach
  • 2010
    • Cougar Town
• Favorite article of clothing:
  • 2004
    • Jeans
  • 2010
    • Scarves!
• I see my sister as:
  • 2004
    • Beautiful
  • 2010
    • Strong
• When I grow up I want to be:
  • 2004
    • A kid!
  • 2010
    • A kid! 😉
• I get most frustrated when:
  • 2004
    • I don’t succeed immediately
  • 2010
    • I feel embarrassed

Those are the highlights documenting how I’ve changed and how I’ve remained the same. It’s an interesting project to keep around. I suggest you start one today and pick it back up in a few years. You might be surprised/saddened/impressed/embarrassed at the things contained.

For me, 2004 points out my youth (as I would expect) but also my crippling inclination to project into the future past any predictable cues – and with goals that are unachievable on my own. Hopefully 2010 feels a bit more independent and a bit more present. It ought to. It’s now.