It’s 11pm already. *Sigh* Can someone tell me where my time goes?
This year is slipping through my fingers so fast I’ve nearly forgotten what month it is. October? Already? It seems like yesterday I was living in my faux apartment in the downstairs of my aunt and uncle’s house, working at a public accounting firm on the east side of Michigan, and choosing to make perhaps one of the most important decisions of my life – to fight every urge of depression, anger, sadness, hurt, loneliness, and unworthiness and remind myself of who I am and what I can do instead. I can do great things.
For as fast as it’s gone by, it feels like another lifetime. And I suppose in many ways it is… (Sometimes I recall the hardships of this year not because I hold onto that struggle but because I need to remind myself that in the past 9 months, I’ve really come a long way. I forget just how big that is sometimes).
On the positive side of the rapidly moving hands of time, the leaves are turning or have turned. I have a date with friends to go to a pumpkin patch this weekend. It’s fall. Every weekend holds promise of scarf weather and friendly faces, my favorite things. My love of fall surpasses my love of love and I don’t often find myself with that lonely lump in my throat, eyes blurred for something that I don’t have. Who needs a hand to hold when held in the hearts of friends?
I’ve been keeping busy.
I started writing for the Live to Give Foundation (L2G) – www.livetogivefoundation.org. Writing for a “real” blog is a lot more intimidating than writing for yourself. Someone else has put his faith in me. I don’t need any faith to ramble off the top of my head; I suppose you could say rambling comes naturally to me ;). But this, this is more important than that. This is how I can use doing what I love to make an impact, to make a difference. Truth: I’m terrified that my words will fall short. Bigger truth: I’m compelled to try with everything that I have. It’s cool to have the opportunity to write for something I feel so strongly about. I think we’ve got the right approach to giving at L2G. I hope I can lend my talents in furthering good. (Not to mention, writing as a “job” is sort of a life goal of mine – LOVE that). If I fail? I will have tried. And I’ll learn from it regardless. But I have faith.
Yesterday, I woke up in the morning to attend a photo shoot for a friend’s exercise class. Her website will be up and running soon and she wanted some group shots to display. I had to laugh on my way to the park to meet up with the rest of the amateur models. I am, more often than not, entirely uncomfortable in front of the lens. So when she messaged me to ask if I would attend, I saw it as a challenge. I’m glad I went. I haven’t seen all of the shots yet, but for me, it’s not even about that. It’s about feeling comfortable – in general – which allows me to be at ease on any side of a camera. Kind of cool, if you ask me.
That aside, I’m looking forward to Homecoming. To knocking some items off my to-do list. To heading home for a weekend this month. To Halloween with friends. I’m going to make the best of October 🙂
Side note: I’ve decided that I’m going to conquer the bunny hill and graduate to a big kid hill on a snowboard this year. I’m 23. It’s time to take the training wheels off and get me into a winter sport. Maybe I’ll learn to love winter! Maybe I’ll get used to the cold! Yeah… not likely… but I am getting off the bunny hill! Mark my words 🙂