I have been spending a lot more time in the Word lately (a relative statement). Not simply “the written word” as if I’ve suddenly began devouring book after book, but The Word. The Bible. I joined a small group bible study, which I have been putting off for some time, following the gentle insistence of a friend. I also started a devotional that will take me through 2013 and have turned to my Bible for the simple act of reading rather than to follow along with a bible study or sermon.
Truthfully, I’ve always been a little wary of diving completely into the Word because I don’t want to come out the other side as a Bible-thumping, loud-mouthed, judgmental hypocrite that I so despise. I’ve seen other people get into the Word and they come out so annoyingly different that it rubs me the wrong way. Yeah, I know…that sounds incredibly harsh. But it’s the truth. Or at least, it has been my perception of the truth.
Anyway, I’m learning that you can’t get into the Word and not be changed. In fact, you should want to be changed in certain ways. You will be called to change. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about that. I say that at the same time that I’m working to let go of some of the things that I held onto – those things that I think keep me from losing my edge among friends and coworkers, that keep me current. I don’t know how I feel about it but I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s necessary to let go of some things that toughen me.