The First Trimester

Pregnancy is a beautiful thing.

I’ve spent several weeks dry heaving over public toilets. You know the thing about dry heaving over public toilets? It’s disgusting. If you’re even slightly nauseous and you get near one, it will trigger your gag reflex without a doubt. And, like Pavlov’s dogs, you’re suddenly gagging every time you enter the bathroom. Ha, you thought you just had to pee? Not anymore, my friend.

When that starts to subside, you feel a mixture of relief and fear that something isn’t going right. Your brain simultaneously thanks God and cries loss at the same time. Every stomach pain or twinge. Was that a sign?

Last week, I sat down at my desk at work with a strange pen in my hand. How did it get there? I thought about it for a minute and realized I grabbed it while in the lunch room. I went back to return it and discovered my water glass! Oh…that’s why I went in there! I should’ve known I’d start having pregnancy brain in the first trimester. That’s the big joke with my family. Anything my grandma gets, my mom gets 20 years earlier and I get 40 years earlier. I thought it would stick with obscure annoyances but apparently pregnancy brain falls into the category of early arrivals too. Welcome to stupid.

And just when you think you’ve read what to expect for the week and you’re doing fine, you get called in for an appointment and suddenly the speck you’ve expected to see on the screen is a BABY. A real baby. It has eyes and ears and arms and legs and you were incredibly off in what week you thought you were in. And your husband is there with awe in his eyes and the biggest smile on his face and you are pregnant with a beautiful, bouncing baby!

I thought I had it all figured out.

Welcome to pregnancy.

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