Letters to Emma: Choosing a Man

Emma, dear, if you choose to marry later in life, choose a man like your father.

I always hated when people made comments like that. How disturbing to choose a mate that reminds you of your father! But I understand now. So let me say it again: If you decide to get married, choose a man like your father.

Here is what that saying means:

  • Choose a man who is the first to bring up your faith life when you’re just starting to date.
  • Choose a man who brings you to church – in the beginning and every sleepy Sunday after that.
  • Choose a man who prays with you – both in joy and sorrow and when the day is just another day.
  • Choose a man who finds you sexy when your body isn’t what it was (and probably won’t be ever again).
  • Choose a man who mentors other men about fidelity, faith, and compromise in marriage.
  • Choose a man you can trust.
  • Choose a man who still gets up early after your firstborn arrives to make it to his men’s bible study.
  • Choose a man who makes you laugh so hard you’re afraid you might literally bust a stitch.
  • Choose a man who is humble enough to do housework.
  • Choose a man of talent – be it music, art, writing, handiwork, cooking – something of his own that he both gets lost in and proudly shows off to you.
  • Choose a man who gladly takes care of you after surgery (Recovery can be humiliating with the wrong person).
  • Choose a man your family loves (This one could be overlooked if we weren’t awesome – but let’s face it – we are!).
  • Choose a man who challenges you to be a better version of you.
  • Choose a man who understands finances.
  • Choose a man with ambition.
  • Choose a man who wants to provide for his family.
  • Choose a man who is slow to anger.
  • Choose a man who can say “Sorry.”
  • Choose a man who can forgive.
  • Choose a man with a good reputation among his friends and coworkers.

Choose a man like your father.

2 responses to “Letters to Emma: Choosing a Man”

  1. That’s beautiful, and why we adore Fred.

  2. This just moved to tears, such sweetness stirred up my insides. Print it out and frame it to hang in her room.
    Adding…”choose a man who exaggerates with class”

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