frederickciii

Febrile Seizures and Healthy Anxiety

Posted on by megdanielle

It’s Friday morning and the air is cool. The sun is out and the clouds are sparse. The kids are off to school and daycare for the first time in 5 weeks and my music is turned up. Thank you Walker Hayes Pandora station. I have a quarter cup of coffee left in my to-go mug; it’s still hot despite being poured over an hour ago. I don’t feel like I’m scraping myself off the floor today. It’s a good morning.

I mentioned it in my last post but I started anxiety meds at the end of May. It takes a while for the meds to get in your system but I can say without a doubt that medication combined with therapy has made a world of difference for me. I still struggle with anxiety but I’m getting better at recognizing healthy anxious thoughts vs. obsessive thoughts. I’m getting better at communicating those obsessive thoughts with my husband and he’s getting better at giving me grace when I can’t let go of something, snap at him, or need to step away.

Our son had a febrile seizure on Wednesday, his second since June. He’s been at daycare both times and both times I missed the call. I saw Fred’s text explaining what happened after I got out of a meeting and immediately left work. I called him on the way to daycare. I panicked. He panicked. I snapped. I didn’t get to daycare before the ambulance left the parking lot so I followed closely behind knowing that that they wouldn’t do anything but give him some acetaminophen and ibuprofen and a COVID test. I got turned around in the parking structure. Fred somehow made it to the ER before I did.

Febrile seizures are interesting because as long as they’re not occurring frequently during a single “illness” or longer than the completely frustrating range of somewhere between 5-15 minutes, medical professionals don’t really bat an eye. The first time it happened, the ER doctor told me to Google the answers to my questions about how often to expect seizures / whether or not they occur with every fever / if they’re caused by temperature alone or the rate at which the temperature elevates / the statistics of reoccurring vs. one time febrile seizures. Google. To a mom whose son had just had his first ever seizure that lasted 7 minutes followed by another one for 2 minutes.

Another interesting thing about febrile seizures is that the fever is often the first symptom of a virus. So you bring your kid to school and you temp them at the door and you send them on their way. They don’t have a stuffy / runny nose. They don’t have a cough at night. No sore throat. Not even a sneeze. Then they wake up from a nap with a temperature of 102 and they seize.

Little man didn’t need the ambulance ride but I’m shit in emergency situations and I couldn’t think straight. The director at daycare told me the EMTs had arrived and I couldn’t slow down my thoughts enough to ask the questions:

  • Does he have a temperature?
  • How long did the seizure last?
  • Is he lucid?

His COVID test was negative and I tested negative on Tuesday after a coworker was diagnosed. I waited the appropriate number of days before testing myself, we mask in meetings at work, and my other team members tested negative but I’m still obsessing. I could take another test but the first did nothing to curb my anxiety so I haven’t, telling myself that I can rely on the test results and that my anxious thoughts aren’t serving me.

Healthy: Taking the necessary precautions to prevent illness and testing for COVID after a possible exposure

Obsessive: Thinking that you have COVID and spread it to your child despite knowing you and your son tested negative

I’ve always been an anxious person. I know that about myself. I think back across relationships and I see the patterns. The way I obsessed. The way I let healthy anxiety roll into obsessive anxiety. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being so rigid. I’m sorry that I held so tightly to control. I’m sorry if my anxiety made you doubt yourself. Recognizing healthy anxiety and letting the rest go is something I’ll probably always work on.

So I sent my son to daycare today. I’m slow-sipping coffee. I’m spending a moment in catharsis before I hit post and carry on with my day. And I’m trusting that God has this. That whatever caused Freddy’s seizure just is. If I could have prevented it, I would have; I can’t control what is.

Little Man

Febrile Seizure Fact Sheet

Happy 8 Month, Frederick C III!

Posted on by megdanielle

Sweet boy, I am all sorts of behind on your blog posts but I did remember to make your 8 month board and take pictures; I feel like that counts for something (maybe backdating this entry will help…let’s all pretend it isn’t 11/21)! And while we’re on the subject, this 8 month madness felt familiar so…I looked back and confirmed: we went through the same thing with your sister!

This (last) month, you started picking up food with your two little fingers! Your movements are both clumsy and determined. You sprouted some top teeth too but you don’t like to show them nearly as much as your flash those bottom teeth. All the better to eat with, my dear!

You are on the move now, army crawling like you have somewhere to go. No one would believe you’ve had all these infections and fluid in your ears! It doesn’t slow you down during the day but it does keep you up at night. We’ve tried our best to stay on top of it and although I hate to give you yet another round of antibiotics, I am proud of you for taking your medicine well!

This past month was a whirlwind and although it came and went quickly, you did get to enjoy your buddy’s 1st birthday party and some quick weekend trips with family. You light up rooms wherever you go and make this chaos easier with your easy going demeanor.

Happy 8 Month, Frederick C III. You are a blessing to this family and a joy.

Happy 7 Month, Frederick C III!

Posted on by megdanielle

I missed your true 7 month mark so what better day to celebrate than on the first official day of Fall? I’m getting ahead of myself but I cannot wait to share my favorite season with you! I have a feeling you will love the crunching leaves the best! And in honor of that, I chose your outfit today! You look like you belong in a baby American Eagle ad. Where’s your football? Why it’s stitched onto your shirt, of course!

This past month you seem to have grown exponentially! At your last checkup, your doctor even warned us that you’d be out of your infant car seat in a matter of weeks. 29 inches long. Your sister was still occupying the next size up so we had to make a flurry of purchases to get everyone sized into their next seats. I’m not complaining. You’ve gotten the hang of this sitting up thing which makes you so much easier to hold!

You. love. food. Honestly, same. Just today your teacher told me that you’re her favorite to feed because you are always excited to eat and you’re so neat and tidy when you do. I agree. I think you realize that months of spitting up was getting old so you’re treating us to the cleanest meals I’ve ever seen out of a babe.

And you’re happy. Easy going. You bop your little legs while you sit in your chair and you look around to take in all that you can see. You belly laugh for your sister (See the bottom left picture? That’s when sissy came into the room) and you snuggle deep into daddy. And momma? Well, you and I have a habit of drawn out bedtimes with books and your heavy weight on my chest. It’s bliss.

Happy 7 Month, Frederick C III. You are a blessing to this family and a joy.

Postpartum Care: A post where you will learn entirely too much about me because I think sharing our experiences matters

Posted on by megdanielle

Thesis: Postpartum care in the US is an absolute joke.

Supporting arguments: Postpartum in the US = the 6 week checkup.

To be fair, I did have two at-home nurse visits after my cesarean. They weren’t really for me, they were mainly for my son, but I did answer some stock questions for postpartum depressing screening; I passed. The nurse also checked my incision and felt to make sure my uterus was still contracting; it was.

6 weeks and then an entire year before I need to go back for my annual checkup because the 6 week postpartum checkup (where they check to make sure the body is healing from a vaginal or cesarean delivery, from incisions or tears or whatever else takes place in the horror that is childbirth) also counts as my annual for the year.

Lucky me.

5 years ago and some months, my daughter was born. Also by cesarean. She weighed 10.1 pounds and I pushed for 3 hours before they decided cesarean was my best option. Fast forward 6 weeks or so to my 6 week appointment. My stitches were healing nicely and everything was looking great.

Given the go ahead, I joined my local Fit4Mom group immediately. I loved being able to workout with my daughter in those early months (Seriously, check this group out. So good for normalizing motherhood and experiencing grace as a new mom!). I noticed early on that I couldn’t side shuffle without pain but figured it was part of the normal healing process. I modified my workouts and filed that pain in a forgotten category of things to follow up on – behind getting enough sleep and normal maintenance, like a haircut. When I hit the 3 month mark with no further follow up, I went back to work.

My desk at work was moved from the main floor to the second floor during my leave and I noticed that I had to take each step with my right foot or pick up my left pant at the knee to get my left leg up the stair. My hip ached. I finally reached out to my OB and was surprised to receive a referral to a pelvic floor physical therapist (PT).

I didn’t know pelvic floor specialists existed.

Apparently if you try to actively push a 10.1 lb baby (or whatever size baby – because my experience is not at all unique to mothers of large babies) for 3 hours (or whatever amount of time including none – because same), you may experience what is known as pelvic floor trauma. Yes, trauma. My PT’s choice of words. Not mine.

My son, born 5 years later, was scheduled as a cesarean. This filled me with such immense peace and glee that I waltzed into the operating room. No pushing! This post isn’t meant to be his birth story so I won’t go much further into the details except to say that this time my child weighed 11.9 lbs.

I had my 6 week follow-up appointment 6 weeks and 2 days after he was born. My stitches were healing nicely and everything was looking good.

Fast forward several months. I came across a beautiful mother of triplets on Instagram, @triplets_of_copenhagen, who shared her postpartum journey with pictures. She talked about her struggle with diastasis recti and I thought to myself, “Hey, I’m having a really hard time “bouncing back” (whatever the hell that means…VOMIT). I had a really big baby (the combined weight of some twins). I have general unease around my core muscles and feel like I’m falling apart. And thanks to her vulnerability in sharing her story, I can see that we have visual similarities. Maybe I have diastasis recti too.“

So I messaged my OB provider and they referred me to… (Can you guess?)

A pelvic floor PT!

And that’s where I learned that I have a 3-finger width spread of my stomach wall (diastasis). I also learned that excruciating back pain I’ve starting seeing my chiropractor about recently is likely caused by a combination of the diastasis and the fact that I carry my little (big) guy on my left at all times.

My point is, 6 weeks isn’t enough time to see how a mother’s body is healing. In both of my pregnancies, I was fine at 6 weeks (or rather I wasn’t but hadn’t yet received the go-ahead to start doing any physical activity that would help identify or exacerbate an issue – that go-ahead is a big part of the 6 week appointment after all).

By 3 months with my first, I couldn’t walk up stairs. By 6 months with my second, I can’t lay down flat on a hard surface without searing back pain and I’m currently working through 8 PT sessions and daily homework to get back on track from injuries that would have worsened with traditional abdominal exercises. Yet both times I passed my 6 week checkup with flying colors.

Thankfully my OB, who I love, knew to refer me a pelvic floor PT. When I scoffed 5 or so years ago at his suggestion, he assured me it’s where I needed to be and he was right. This isn’t a critique of him or the care I received at his guidance. It’s a critique on standard postpartum care in the US. It’s a joke and we deserve better.

Please let me know your thoughts and recovery experience by commenting below!

Happy 6 Month, Frederick C III!

Posted on by megdanielle

I’m behind again but your 6 month celebration fell at the beginning of an amazing time in the UP so it felt right to postpone this post! It was your very first family reunion (held every three years) and it was well worth the wait!

You were the perfect little traveler through car rides and tailgate feedings, pack and play sleeps and pass offs. You changed hands over and over with a smile on your face, and lots of chatter and laughs. And your cousins – oh how they love you! They could watch you all day, holding your hand, announcing your next spit up, and interpreting your baby babbles for me (“He said he wants me not you right now”)!

At reunion, you met new family and you tried a new food: Banana! You LOVE it. You were fine with avocado and peanut butter but bananas are your jam! We can tell you’re getting a hang of the mouth movement required to eat and our fingers are crossed that this is the start of less “happy spitting.”

Over the past month you’ve also been getting so much stronger. You can sit with just a little help of a Boppy behind you and you’re holding yourself upright when held, straining to see your sister and dad. The alligator rolls are getting faster and faster too. We can barely catch you these days! Along with the transition into some 9 month clothing, it’s another sign that time is flying by! We love you, big boy!

Happy 6 Month, Frederick C III. You are a blessing to this family and a joy.

Happy 5 Month, Frederick C III!

Posted on by megdanielle

This is getting a little ridiculous, little love. Slow down! You shocked your family and your teachers with a new tooth this past month but to look at the pictures here, no one is surprised that one tooth so quickly became two! You are a constant pool of spit up and drool and we are oh-so-glad to have finally purchased respectable burp cloths. Those muslin burp cloths didn’t stand a chance! YUCK.

In addition to a new tooth, you also began to roll over from back to front, completing your cyclone of movement across the floor. You are so eager to move! In a continual state of kicking, wiggling and shimmying in seats, on changing tables, and in arms.

You took your first pontoon ride this month and although you are a smooth sailor in calm water, you’re not about having all that wind whipping at your face! You also celebrated your first annual 4th of July party at our house and slipped smoothly into sleep just before the first firework went off (early for the kids). You slept the whole time!

But our favorite part of this past month has been seeing your love for your sister blossom. She captivates you and you will arch yourself around from any position to see her or hear her. You love catching her eye for a smile and you are sure to reward her wild antics with your contagious belly laughs! It’s the best!

Happy 5 Month, Frederick C III. You are a blessing to this family and a joy.

Happy 4 Month, Frederick C III!

Posted on by megdanielle

You little weed! You graduated into size 3 diapers and just started rolling over at the end of this month. You’re starting to sit up when we hold you but you show no signs of slowing down the spit up! Doc calls you a “happy spitter.”

In what started as an attempt to curb the constant soaked shirts, you tried oatmeal cereal and now we’ve added avocado and peanut butter to the list. Avocado is by far your fave – just like sissy!

We went to Traverse City to check in on grandma Shier and you attended your first Festival of the Arts to soak in some tunes. You’ve cashed in on our new Costco membership but thankfully you’re a natural in a shopping cart!

You’ve been sleeping through the night since week 6 and we were sure it was a fluke but you continue to show us every day (and night!) just how cool and easy going you really are.

Happy 4 Month, Frederick C III. You are a blessing to this family and a joy.

Happy 3 Month, Frederick C III!

Posted on by megdanielle

Three months flew by so fast I almost missed it altogether!

This was a big month of transition, Freddy. You mastered the art of sleeping through the night before you reached your first day at daycare! We have quite the morning checklist these days but you sail through the morning routine with ease. Your teachers already love you!

Your sister keeps an eye on you at school, skipping class to hang with the babies whenever her teacher will let her. I have to pick her up first so she can give me the full report on your day. You go for walks in the stroller, play with friends, and even had your first fire alarm drill! You slept right through it, of course.

You met quite a bit of family at Easter and loved being passed around from aunts to uncles. And your grandparents? Man, they sure do love you! The chaos and commotion doesn’t rattle you as long as it’s not a surprise attack!

You’re the coolest little dude and I almost feel guilty when I tell people about your demeanor but I can’t! We appreciate you, bud!

Happy 3 month, Frederick C III. You are a blessing to this family and a joy.

Happy 2 Month, Frederick C III!

Posted on by megdanielle

Two months old! How time does fly!

Thank you for answering the challenge of earning back your birth weight! You’ve now moved past size 1 diapers and are pushing into 6 month clothes. You’re as big as some of your friends who were born months earlier but not nearly as strong when it comes to tummy time!

You’ve been living up to your uncle’s nickname “Freddy Chill” and encouraging us to believe that your first month of ease wasn’t a fluke. You’re up once or twice a night and we’re grateful. We probably couldn’t handle more!

This month you accompanied your sister to her first professional dental cleaning. You charmed your first babysitter, and started exercise class with your momma. Your trips to Starbucks are still going strong.

You’re happy. Smiling by day and chuckling to yourself in sleep. Your little feet don’t stop moving when you’re on your back and we pretend you run all around the world with those busy legs! Our very own adventurer.

Happy 2 month, Frederick C III. You are a blessing to this family and a joy.

Happy 1 Month, Frederick C III!

Posted on by megdanielle

Baby Freddy, how are you 1 month old already?

You are the sweetest little boy, content to sleep or silently take in your surroundings when your basic needs are met. In fact, your go-with-the-flow attitude had us fooled into thinking you were getting enough to eat when the scale proved otherwise! Let’s get you back up to your fighting weight, okay?

You’re strong and alert, locking eyes, moving toward sounds, and lifting your head. You like fans and lights and your sister’s cuddles. (You are so loved by her!)

So far in life, you’ve been to two dinner parties, a birthday party, several Starbucks runs, to Target and Lowe’s. You’ve met Emma’s friends at school, hung out with your grandparents, made new friends, and heard your first sermon.

You’ve washed the wall in urine and pooped clear across the room, causing considerable panic and even the need for eye drops… but even with all that, you are the cool to our crazy; we are in awe of you!

Happy 1 month, Frederick C III. You are a blessing to this family and a joy.