Interview with Freddy Jr.

Freddy Jr. (aka “husband” / aka “dad”) has been unanimously voted the family MVP today. The votes were cast after reviewing the past three weeks of family events, culminating with today’s impromptu nap with the kids. This act allowed Freddy’s wife to nap by herself without interruption and ultimately sealed the vote.

Let’s hear what he has to say about his new title!

M: How does it feel to be the family MVP?

F: It feels pretty good. Did I go above and beyond today? I mean, yeah… I did. But mostly I just answered the call of duty.

M: Having a newborn and an almost 5-year-old who needs a lot of attention is a lot to manage alongside a full-time job and your wife’s changing emotional state. What keeps you going?

F: Umm…this is intense. [Pause]

A few months ago I challenged myself to write out my personal mission statement. It has given me so much guidance and personal accountability in my work life and personal life. Ultimately in this season of life, I’m striving to be a balanced man. At the end of the day, I just want to be a good husband, dad, and employee. And I have a lot of people counting on me.

M: How do you feel this newborn phase is going compared to your first time around?

F: So much more chaotic… Freddy is an absolute gem! He is so calm, content, and happy which makes it very easy to take care of him. However, the pure nature of having two children just makes it feel like everything is in the air at all times.

Freddy III is heard tooting in the background. Freddy Jr. pauses and cracks a smile. The girls start laughing.

So crazy…

•••

At this point, the interview is paused. Freddy III needs to be changed. Freddy Jr. leaves to change him.

When he returns, dinner needs to be cleared, one child needs to start her bedtime routine and the other needs to eat again. His daughter Emma ignores all requests to get ready for bed, instead choosing to practice triple axel jumps in the kitchen.

Soon the whole family is gathered in the baby’s room. Freddy Jr. is teaching Emma how to do cartwheels while his wife feeds the baby.

Daddy and daughter leave to brush their teeth. Although she has managed triple axels and cartwheels without injury, something occurs with Emma on the walk across the hall. Crying can be heard.

The interview resumes 58 minutes later.

•••

M: The timing of those interruptions felt staged. That’s what you meant by everything is in the air, isn’t it?

F: Yes, precisely.

M: If you could choose one thing to change about this phase, what would it be?

F: The time of year… More fresh air would be a “breath of fresh air”. [I] can’t wait for spring!

M: How about your favorite part of this phase?

F: I have an appreciation for how quickly everything else in life can just slow down. Having a newborn in the house has a way of shifting priorities. I no longer have time to sneak out for a quick bonfire, walk the dog, or even keep my driveway perfectly clear of snow. Just the basics.

M: That’s your favorite part about this phase?

F: Huh? What was the question?

M: What is your favorite part about this phase?

F: Hm, I must’ve gone off on a tangent. My favorite part is smelling my son’s head! Duh!

M: Thanks for taking the time today. Wanna watch an ep[isode]?

F: Yes.

The Grill

Word of advice, newlyweds: 8:45pm is not the perfect time to “go look at grills.”

Wives, beware! You will not go away from your trip empty-handed. You might even think that you’re prepared because you expect a grill purchase at the end of the day, but you’ve probably forgotten about the grill cover, the spatula, the brush, the propane tank. Oh, yes. Your husband is not merely buying a grill tonight. He’s grilling!

Husbands, your wives might tell you that you need to include them in the purchasing process, but let me translate this for you. Your wife is actually saying: “I want to see where our money is going.” She is not proclaiming that she wants to go pick up the summer sizzler with you so she can load the bad boy into the Jeep and make a Meijer run for those steaks she’s got on the brain.

Men have “man-time” for a reason. And while you should include your wife in the grill-choosing process, you should not count on her to haul a grill up 1.5 flights of stairs to your apartment with you. Not at 8pm. After she’s had weeks of chiropractic visits to fix a back problem.

You see where I’m going with this… Another learning experience for this newlywed (can I still call us that?) couple!

And by the way, the store closes at 9pm. You’re about to be “THAT couple.” 😉

The Vow

There’s this new movie coming out. It has Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams in it; they play a husband and wife. This husband and wife get in an accident and then the wife can’t remember him. So he has to win her back. Make her fall in love again.

See for yourself:

Trailer: The Vow

Yikes!

I asked Fred if he thought he could make me fall in love again if I forgot him. He says he could.

Then I asked him if he thought I could make him fall in love again. He laughed. He knows I could.

I love that husband of mine!  🙂 Married life is fun!

Secrets Unhidden

I went nearly a full year without a roommate. In that year, I got to do many of the things that you or I would be too embarrassed to do openly with a roommate. Some of those things included:

  • Leaving food in the fridge longer than it needed to be left in the fridge out of sheer laziness.
    • This one backfired on me more than once. So you know, a carrot, left unattended, changes from solid to liquid. I’m not proud.
  • Going a day…or two…or three without showering.
    • A baseball cap is a magical accessory; of this, I am sure.
  • Collapsing into bed fully clothed, and fully sober, because I didn’t want to experience those few seconds of cold while putting on my pajamas.
  • Living room dance parties. Alone. With the lights dimmed so neighbors wouldn’t see my shadow as I tried to learn the moves to “Run the World” by Beyoncé.
  • Consuming a full pizza from Jets by myself and immediately disposing the evidence in the dumpster so I didn’t have to face my guilt the next day.
  • Laundry. Up to my ears.
    • Here’s a word of advice: If you’re looking at an apartment without a laundry room inside, stop.
  • Uncontrollable sobbing in response to the latest Grey’s Anatomy episode that lasted well beyond the end of the show.
  • Hours out of my day spent in my towel.
    • If you haven’t done this, you probably have a roommate. It’s advisable. But typically ends with an unplanned nap. I’m not sure why.
  • Beauty regimen…with the bathroom door open!

Anyway, it’s a short list but these are some of the things that I’ve shamefully enjoyed while living on my own.

Being married is like having a roommate…only that roommate isn’t across the hall while you shorten your hours of towel-wear into the 15 minutes just after your shower. (Oh, no. There’s no chance of that. He’s in the room with you!)

So you get out of the shower and you get dressed.

You may skip your morning shower but you’ll hurry to get in the shower when you return so you’re clean before he comes home from work.

You do not eat an entire pizza. Period. Because that’s never sexy.

You limit your Grey’s Anatomy tears to certain points in the show and pretend that you’re not devastated over Meredith and Derrick’s loss of their baby (she’s their baby!).

Long story short, there aren’t secrets here. My bad habits pile up like unattended laundry. They rack up like hours spent on Facebook when I’m not being watched (if I remember them correctly).

I’m exposed. Unhidden.

And part of me wishes to harbor my secret consumption of Sun Chips alone for dinner so badly that it’s almost comical. Like Gollum with his precious…and those of you who know my deep, deep-rooted fear of the Lord of the Rings character now realize how desperately I wish to keep my bad habits hidden!

You know what’s funny about marriage though?

He’s already caught me red-handed more than once. He might tease me or squeeze me when he sees just how bad I can be, but he loves me just the same.